UK Border Agency, why they know about me now

Okay, I admit it, my blogging posts have been a bit sparse in 2011. In my defence though I have been busier than I could ever have imagined. 

I made a major decision early in 2011 that changed my business so much my feet haven’t hit the ground since. I decided to focus on my passion (and where I have had the biggest success), as a corporate coach.

2011 saw me travel so much I am (almost) on first names terms with the UK Border Agency staff.

I have been so privileged to have travelled to Thailand, Indonesia, China, Vietnam, Hong Kong, Abu Dhabi, Dubai, Russia, Greece, Norway, France, Spain and not forgetting Reading in the UK

In these countries I have coached and trained a wonderful group of people and seen them develop skills that will bring success to them, their families and their companies. This is why I love my job so much. 

I have worked with a range of companies including KPMG, BT, Bank of America Merrill Lynch, Nomura Bank, BNP Paribas, Thomson Reuters, Jotun, Roche, Suzuki and many others.

In 2012, my diary is already full and I am working on a massive project that I will reveal more about soon.

So what of New Year Resolutions?

In 2010 (and previous years) I made a resolution but didn’t take the right action. In January 2011 I made a resolution and then took the action to make it happen. That is what led me to the success I have had so far.

So make HUGE goals for 2012 and then take the right action to make it happen.

GO FOR IT

 

 

 

My dog gave me the answer I was looking for

Yesterday I spent most of the day doing strategic planning for a massive project I am working on at the moment. I made great progress capturing all the information I needed and putting them into the right category then I hit a brick wall. I needed to finish the structure but I couldn’t put the final pieces of the puzzle together.

I had spent so long working my brain just wasn’t working effectively anymore. I, however, didn’t listen and kept working. The more I worked the less effective I became. The more I looked for the answer the more elusive the answer became.

In the end I conceded defeat and took my dog out for a walk.

It was a lovely evening and I always enjoy walking her. As a German Shepherd she needs lots of exercise and interaction. It was about 20 minutes into her walk when a thought popped into my mind. It was the solution I was looking for for my project and it seemed so obvious.

By not spending time looking for the answer and not thinking about it directly, I had given my brain the space it needed to think.

I wonder whether this is useful for me going forward. As I grow my business it can be easy to ‘just work’ and think you are being effective. But sometimes it takes a break to be more effective. Give your brain a chance to ‘think’ without having to think!

That’s one of the reasons I love walking my dog. It gives me that time to think without thinking.

 

 

 

 

Why success & happiness will never come to you

Quick blog post as I realise that my 2011 blog posting is looking a bit sad.

 

Over the first three months of this year I have been working some incredible people and seeing major changes in their personal life and business success.

What has been the difference this year though from last year and the year before.

The people have still got the same knowledge they had before, they still have relatively the same skills as well. (although this is increasing daily too).

The difference is in their mindset. Suddenly despite all attempts of the negative events that can impact us all (and there are some pretty big ones so far this year) people have been focusing on possibilities. What COULD happen if we wanted it too enough?

Prior to this, peoples mindsets were sitting on limitations. Not doing anything because it might not work . But with a little awareness, the right knowledge and some powerful action suddenly people have turned their situation around into what is possible.

The only reason that success and happiness will not come to you is because you are rooted in your beliefs that it CANT come to you. But if you choose to accept that where you are may not be where you want to be and then take ACTION… Your whole life can change.

It can be scary, it can feel uncomfortable but what good is comfort to you if it = unhappiness and unsuccessful?

So take bold steps forward, decide where you want to be and go and make it happen… time is ticking and there is no time like the present..

 

Keep making the right choices for you, and those around you

Positive thinking won’t work….

….If you don’t now what it really is.

Positive thinking can often get misunderstood. As a proponent of positive thinking people often think of me as someone who sees the ‘good’ in everything and lives my life in some Walton / Little House on the Prairie way.

“When things happen that are not nice, I look on the bright side and always have a cheerful look on my face.”

This couldn’t be further from the truth. It is important to not let little things constantly get to you. Things like the weather, work, kids, traffic etc. But there will be times when things happen and you simply cannot, in that moment, think of anything ‘positive’ about it.

Just before Christmas I learned my dad, who has just recovered from cancer, has now got lung cancer. When I put the phone down after hearing the news I certainly wasn’t leaping around the room being all ‘positive’ about it. This was bad news and I felt pretty sad and even shed a tear or two whilst keeping the news from my kids.

The power and benefit of positive thinking however meant that I was able to ‘process’ this news and respond in a more empowering way rather than allow the news to dominate my mood and drag me down to a place where I am of no use to anyone.

My dad, mum, wife and kids need me to be strong and putting too much energy and focus into wishing things like this didn’t happen would not change the reality of the situation. What really mattered was how I chose to respond.

Using positive thinking techniques I have accepted the news and as a family we are doing what we need to do to deal with this situation.

I have known friends over the last 2 weeks who have also had devastating news and no amount of positive thinking will take away the pain. But using positive thinking and TIME it can help end ‘suffering’ and being a victim to the event and allowing it to dominate the future.

In life pain is inevitable but suffering is optional

I hope that when you face challenging times in your own life you have the right mindset to deal with the event and I know from experience and practise that being a positive thinker BEFORE I ‘needed’ to be has helped me deal with this news.

I Hate WORK…

Commuters face triple whammy on Return To Work: Freezing weather, flu, long wait to Easter | Mail Online.

..at least I would if I believed in ridiculous headlines like this one in the DAILY MAIL (click the link).

Just read the article but avoid believing in it. It’s one of those things that if we’re not careful can bring us down. REALLY DOWN.

Sure, I’d rather be on holiday in Barbados but as I’m not on holiday and will be working after a break I am going to do what I need to do to enjoy it.

One way of doing this is to think about what I am grateful for rather than believe headlines like this one.

Tomorrow morning I’ll be grateful that I GET to go to work (not GOT to go to work) and that I chose the work I do so and when that stops being fun I’ll make plans to change to something I do enjoy.

Enjoy your day tomorrow if it’s your first day back and don’t believe anything that will make you feel down.

 

Why I don’t hope for a good 2011

Snow, Ice, Thaw, Hot, Too Hot, Rain, More Rain, Snow, Ice, Christmas

That was 2010 in nut shell for me…

So what does will 2011 hold? and will my goals be helped or hindered by events I have no control over?

What about YOU?

Some people will make their new year resolutions tonight, wake with a hangover tomorrow and with the best of intentions, try to live by these resolutions for as long as possible.

• Give up smoking
• Get fitter
• go to the gym more often (that wouldn’t be hard as I hardly went after March this year)
• Be happier
• stop moaning
• get perfect job
• get perfect partner
• etc etc etc

The challenge with this is that when LIFE takes over and we settle back to our routine, it is easy to continue the habits that we so want to break out of.

Life will throw things at us that we can’t control and then we revert back to OH WELL maybe next time (maybe NYE Dec 31 st 2011).

Do remember that your new years resolution should account for HOPES, DREAMS and WHAT YOU DO WANT but also a plan for what your response will be when things don’t plan out as hoped.

I don’t ‘wish’ you a great 2011 because things will happen you have NO CONTROL over. Whether it’s the weather (always good to moan about ) your boss, your partner, the kids or even a traffic jam when you are in a rush.

2011 will hold challenges as well as great times and it’s up to YOU to choose the best way to respond.

I wish you the best mindset for 2011 and ensure you enjoy the journey all the way to Dec 31st 2011. That IS in your control.

Until next year

Darren

 

New Year Resolutions are pointless

New Year New You Revolution.

It never fails to amaze me how often i used get to the end of a year and look back at what I have achieved with a sense of pride mixed with ‘I could have done more’.

As a coach I often work with clients who set themselves goals and hold themselves accountable for them. As we approach another year (2011 is 2 days away as a type this) I have just finished writing my own goals for the year, what I’ll achieve and how I’ll feel when I have done it. I work with my own coach to ensure my goals are HUGE and CHALLENGING and will enhance my life to be better and better.

Many people will have their own resolutions as we approach year end. For some they’ll be planned out, for others it’ll be a fleeting thought at 11.59pm on 31st December whilst preparing for a hangover the following day.

As we enter January life will go back to normal, the usual day to day challenges will [still] be there and it is easy to fall back into the old patterns of thinking, behaviour and action that got us the results we have in our life today.

If you want something different then you need to be doing something different.

So what will you resolution be?

Will it be well thought through? Will it be sustainable? Will you keep going and achieve it at the first sign of pressure?

It all depends on YOU!

Yes external events will cause you to be challenged but your success or failure in achieving your resolution is ALWAYS down to you.

Make sure you set goals that will inspire you to take action, notice what will happen when you achieve them and what will happen if you don’t achieve it.

But most of all decide to do something that gets you a positive result that you can measure so in December 2011 you can look back and say to yourself… WOW look what I achieved. Turn your resolution into a revolution and actually DO something rather than fall into the trap of having the best intentions but falling by the end of January

You have snow right to travel

BBC News – Q&A: Snow chaos in the UK.

Whether the airports should have done more is a question for another time. Whether the highway agency should / could have done more is also for another time. At the moment in the Uk there is no doubt we are seeing weather that we haven’t seen for a very long time.

I would imagine the people in charge of airports, highway agencies etc we’re probably out playing in the snow the last time it was this bad in the country.

The news reports of people in airports, train stations etc have been pretty sad. People looking to get home and see their loved ones for Christmas and New Year. No doubt a feeling of panic can set in as we get closer to Christmas but still no sign of travel.

Then there are the people at home, looking to get to work, and back again. Getting shopping for Christmas has become a real challenge.

There is NO DOUBT that people are facing major challenges at this time but as I often say in my courses…

In life pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.

Whilst sitting in traffic, at home, on a train, in an airport remember that putting any energy into wishing it WASN’T happening won’t change it.

Decide instead to look at what YOU CAN do to make that moment enjoyable, bearable etc.

It’s not ideal, we all know that now but sometimes mother nature just shows us how strong she is and how unprepared we are. We don’t have a ‘right’ to travel. Sometimes we just need to do what we can and enjoy it. I would love to see a news report showing how people have got that spirit to make their situation as enjoyable as possible. Often times when the chips are down, human’s are at their best.

Have a safe Christmas and New Year wherever you may be this year and let’s hope the authorities have taken notice on how to plan and communicate better to their customers when things like this happen again.

FEAR – False Evidence Appears Real – Don’t be scared though

BBC News – Woman who cannot feel fear may help in treating PTSD.

An interesting article about a woman with a crucial part of her brain missing. It’s called the Amygdala and controls, amongst other things, the fight, flight or freeze reactions to perceived danger.

The article discusses how this can help in research to those suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

It’s an interesting article from my perspective as it shows that if this woman and I were confronted by the something scary our reactions would be different. Not because we witness something different but because our brains see the same thing but process the information differently. This leads to a different response.

My business is all about how the brain interprets the world we live in and how we choose to respond or react to it.

There are times when we need the Amygdala to take over and give us the instant reactions we need. e.g. When we are in danger and need to move quickly. There are also times when it would be useful to get control over our first instincts and challenge them.

Whether in business when we experience bad news and we react badly (that then creates a bad outcome) or in our personal life.

The picture in the article shows a spider. I HATE spiders. That is my instant reaction when I see one (Amygdala Hijack). That said since I have been involved in challenging my brain consciously I have noticed that I am able to overcome my fear and choose a response that enables me to deal with the spider rather than be a victim to it (metaphorically speaking of course).

What would having NO FEAR in certain areas of your life do for you? Would it be useful to challenge your beliefs about what you can and can’t achieve.

So long as this woman stays away from ACTUAL danger then I would say she could go on and do ANYTHING in her life because she is not afraid, not even afraid a failure.

Would love to hear your comments.

Cheers

Darren

Lord Young – ‘Never had it so good’ comment… He was right

Image via Wikipedia

BBC News – Cameron adviser quits over never had it so good claim.

With the government cuts looming, rising prices (especially petrol), VAT on the increase and what appears to be FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE sitting close by (looking at the amount of dark clouds and heavy rain we’ve been having) it’s no wonder people are being influenced to feel like the good times have passed by. Moving from Thriving to Surviving if you will.

So Lord Young‘s comments (a Daily Mail reporters wet dream) about how people in the UK have never had it so good was not really the brightest thing for the Governments Advisor to small business to be saying.

I’m not sure there are many small businesses out there that are saying,”Yeah you know what, this recession was all made up and actually I have squillions of £’s stuffed under the mattress because I don’t trust the banks.”

Many small businesses are struggling in an environment where the prevailing winds are taking us somewhere we don’t want. Towards CUTS CUTS CUTS. I am in favour of cuts, the country’s finances would embarrass any business owner if their own books were in the same state. I am however fed up of hearing how bad it is. Let’s start focusing on creating WEALTH and generating opportunities and stop taking a staring role in our own disaster movie.

So back to Lord Young, yes he was right, in the end. He was right because he stood down from his role and hopefully will crawl back to his mansion and live a happy life, leaving small business owners with the opportunity to work with a government adviser who is not only in the real world but also wants to help people in these challenging times.

When the winds fail…. take to the oars. If you run a small business please do not become a victim of the news reports. These times present you with a great opportunity to be creative and generate income regardless of what the press would have you believe.