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That was 2010 in nut shell for me…

So what does will 2011 hold? and will my goals be helped or hindered by events I have no control over?

What about YOU?

Some people will make their new year resolutions tonight, wake with a hangover tomorrow and with the best of intentions, try to live by these resolutions for as long as possible.

  • Give up smoking
  • Get fitter
  • go to the gym more often (that wouldn’t be hard as I hardly went after March this year)
  • Be happier
  • stop moaning
  • get perfect job
  • get perfect partner
  • etc etc etc

The challenge with this is that when LIFE takes over and we settle back to our routine, it is easy to continue the habits that we so want to break out of.

Life will throw things at us that we can’t control and then we revert back to OH WELL maybe next time (maybe NYE Dec 31 st 2011).

Do remember that your new years resolution should account for HOPES, DREAMS and WHAT YOU DO WANT but also a plan for what your response will be when things don’t plan out as hoped.

I don’t ‘wish’ you a great 2011 because things will happen you have NO CONTROL over. Whether it’s the weather (always good to moan about :)) your boss, your partner, the kids or even a traffic jam when you are in a rush.

2011 will hold challenges as well as great times and it’s up to YOU to choose the best way to respond.

I wish you the best mindset for 2011 and ensure you enjoy the journey all the way to Dec 31st 2011. That IS in your control.

Until next year ūüôā

Darren

 

BBC News – Do the poor have a right to live in expensive areas?.

It’s an interesting headline to say the least but the article content clarifies it somewhat. With house prices the level they are and people unable (or unwilling) to work, is it fair that people have to move away from some areas because they can’t afford it…

I live in Poole and have my eyes on my next house in Sandbanks… only trouble is that it costs approx ¬£2,000,000. Does this make me ‘poor’? I guess it depends on what you compare it to. ¬†Do I have a ‘right’ to live in Sandbanks?

No is the answer, I don’t have any right to have anything in my life unless I work for it and make it happen myself. Sure it’s ‘not fair’ that some people have more money than me…but surely that would also mean it’s unfair that I have more money than other people.

If you want something in life the only way to get it is do something positive that EARNS you the ‘right’ to have it. Nothing should be handed to you. Yes a society should help its most vulnerable people and that is only right and proper. But it doesn’t mean everyone who is ‘poor’ can move in with the Queen (not debating whether she ‘earns’ her money at this point).

If you want something in life, then do what you have to do to make it happen. We can make excuses about our own special circumstances but there are many people in this world who were at rock bottom and they decided to do something about it and turn their life around and they earn the right through positive actions rather than moaning about life circumstances.

Jobless couple demand bigger home for family of eight (and all their children are named after celebs) | Mail Online.

Personal responsibilty really needs to start by noticing when you can’t support yourself anymore. I’m not sure I accept that the dad, who want’s to be a tatooist, [what’s stopping him?] should wait for his ideal job whilst happilly taking money off the state. I’m sure the 6 kids didn’t happen by accident and if they are unable to look after all their kids then maybe some should be taken into¬†care and looked after by someone who can.

The only thing stopping them getting the house¬†they need using their own money is the fact they’re not prepared to go out and earn it. The world doesn’t owe you a living or a life, sometimes you just have to go and make it happen yourself.

I wonder what type of message their kids are getting about the world and what they need to do to be both happy and successful.

It seems that success for the parents is having lots of kids, demanding a bigger house and then contributing NOTHING to society themselves.

I never really noticed how often I am leaving old skills behind and picking up new one.

Recently I have been offering free sessions on how to record, edit and host a podcast for networking mummies [http://www.networkingmummies.com/]. For business owners, being able to reach potential new clients with a voice rather than text, podcasting is a great way of doing this.

But how do you learn something you know nothing about? Research, google and ‘act as if’ you can learn it.

6 months ago I knew nothing about podcasting, now I am not only podcasting but have just released my first Audio Coaching programme using a digital download service. All of this started by me askng one question. “What do I need to know in order to podcast” and then taking action with the answers.

So what can you do with the [often free]¬†services available on the web. We hear so much from iPod marketing about “there’s an App for that”, but there is also usually a free website to help you along the journey of finding new ways to get things done.

For podcasting I use Audacity and podbean (please google them).

Just because you haven’t done it yet, doen’t mean you can’t do it. All it takes is to ask the question HOW and then search for the answer.

http://www.darrentoms.com/products.html for my Audio workbook

My daughter is about to start her last year in primary school. As a confident 10 year old it is amazing to see how she has developed over the years.

From a baby who was totally dependant on parents for her survival to a young lady who is blossoming with a wonderful spirit and attitude to life. She attends a local private school which I scrimp and save for to give her the best start I could give her in her education. Soon she will be taking exams to see if she get’s into Grammar School or not.

She has just been made headgirl for her last year and this in itself makes me burst with pride over what my little girl has achieved.

As I have always said to her, it’s not about the winning, but it is about WANTING to win. “Go out and give it the best you can” I always say to her.

So last Friday, it was my turn to feel this approach. It was the School Sports day and that can only mean one thing… The PARENTS RACE.

I was sat down watching the kids go through their races, knowing all too soon I would have to make that choice, will I enter the race or sit quietly and watch others do it. I had entered the previous year and had suffered for days after as my legs wondered what the heck had hit them. It had been 24 years since I had sprinted 100 meters and my legs showed their disapproval by refusing to work properly for 4 days after.

Since leaving school (and my last sprint)  I have been a regular gym goer, done kickboxing, achieved blackbelt in Karate, but nothing could have prepared me for the pain of SPRINTING 100 metres.

SO here I am wondering, DO I ENTER this year.

The announcement comes over the tannoy, “WOULD ALL PARENTS WHO WISH TO RACE PLEASE MAKE THEIR WAY TO THE START LINE.” I glance up in the direction of my daughter who is shouting and waving frantically, “GO ON DAD, GO ON DAD” (repeat over and over).

Remembering what I said to her, (it’s not winning but it is WANTING to win) I make my way to the start line.

My pulse is beginning to quicken as I get nervous. The whistle goes, and we’re off. or should I say, all the other dad’s are off. I am running but with little speed from my youth remaining (and I’m sure all the other dad’s are at least 10 years younger than me :)).

I actually did better than I thought, and finished 5th after making up ground in the later stages. My daughter is happy I took part and did the best I could and I am happy as I realise that my legs still work.

Since the race (5 days ago) I spent 4 of those days in agony as my legs keep cramping up and wonder what the heck I am doing at my age.¬† But was it worth it? YES. Because I wanted to show my daughter how important it is to always do your best and have a go even if you know you can’t win.

Next year is my daughters last sports day in primary school. I have a choice now. Do I enter next years race and feel the pain after or feign injury and allow my legs to live in peace?  Actually I have chosen a 3rd option.

I am going to prepare next year by changing my gym workout and doing some short sharp sprint in advance to prepare my legs. That way I get to make my daughter proud of me whilst ensuring I don’t kick myself in the process (if my legs worked that is).

So keep making the right choices for yourself and those around you in your life and remember to prepare as best you can for whatever is coming your way.

Thanks for reading and please do visit my website www.darrentoms.com for more inspiring and thought provoking stuff

Published this earlier today and then saw this in the Daily Mail Website… http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1292609/Take-easy-sports-day-physiotherapists-warn-parents-half-reveal-theyve-treated-injured-mums-dads.html

Over the winter months walking my dog was pretty much a solitary thing. Not too many people ventured out into the rain and the cold and those that did did so head down and moving too quickly to stop and chat.

Since the spring arrived followed ever so slowly by the warmer weather I notice how busier my dog walking route gets.

Along with warmer weather comes lighter evenings and this in turn brings out the kids and young adults (13 – 17 year olds).

When walking my dog I notice how freely the youth of today use profanities and swear words not even quietly but sometimes at the top of their voice.

I recall one time walking along when a girl aged around 11 – 13 shouts, at the top of her voice, over to her ‘friend’, “Oi, you Fxxxkxxg cxxt”.

I was really taken back by this especially as I was only about 10 feet away when she did it and she knew I was there.

Luckily I stand at 6’1″ tall and so I guess command a certain amount of authority (it also helps I have my trusty German Shepherd dog with me) so I felt comfortable advising her calmly and quietly that this language was NOT acceptable.

She muttered something under her breath but didn’t answer back. ¬†I have seen her since and every time she keeps quiet.

I wonder how long it had had been (if ever) since she was last actively challenged by someone about her behaviour.

Impact of this

I am hoping that maybe the next time she is about to use foul language she may recall that there is a consequence and that someone else may take exception. Future employers would and so would the police.

I have done the same thing a number of times both with language and once stopping a fight with some local boys. I now always stop and have a chat with the boy (15) who was about to get beaten up.

I am aware that I am confident, I hold a black belt in Karate, I am tall and most of all I have my German Shepherd with me, but it is important that if you notice a behaviour or activity [in the environment you live in] and you don’t like this then you have a choice. What are you going to do about it?

You could take direct action but ONLY if your own safety is not at threat, you could call the police, you could even move to an environment that is better for you. There is ALWAYS a choice.

I hope that my actions with the kids in my area which are polite yet firm, listening yet not always accepting will plant the seed of good and give them the opportunity to believe they can be good regardless of peer pressure.

So what can YOU do about situations you don’t like? It could be home, it could be work, it could be the kids, your siblings in fact it could be any situation.

You can decide to do something about a situation you don’t like or you can moan about it.

Either way you are part of the solution or APART from the solution.

Keep making the right choices for yourself and those around you.

Visit http://www.darrentoms.com for more podcasts and video blogs