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That was 2010 in nut shell for me…

So what does will 2011 hold? and will my goals be helped or hindered by events I have no control over?

What about YOU?

Some people will make their new year resolutions tonight, wake with a hangover tomorrow and with the best of intentions, try to live by these resolutions for as long as possible.

  • Give up smoking
  • Get fitter
  • go to the gym more often (that wouldn’t be hard as I hardly went after March this year)
  • Be happier
  • stop moaning
  • get perfect job
  • get perfect partner
  • etc etc etc

The challenge with this is that when LIFE takes over and we settle back to our routine, it is easy to continue the habits that we so want to break out of.

Life will throw things at us that we can’t control and then we revert back to OH WELL maybe next time (maybe NYE Dec 31 st 2011).

Do remember that your new years resolution should account for HOPES, DREAMS and WHAT YOU DO WANT but also a plan for what your response will be when things don’t plan out as hoped.

I don’t ‘wish’ you a great 2011 because things will happen you have NO CONTROL over. Whether it’s the weather (always good to moan about :)) your boss, your partner, the kids or even a traffic jam when you are in a rush.

2011 will hold challenges as well as great times and it’s up to YOU to choose the best way to respond.

I wish you the best mindset for 2011 and ensure you enjoy the journey all the way to Dec 31st 2011. That IS in your control.

Until next year 🙂

Darren

 

BBC News – Do the poor have a right to live in expensive areas?.

It’s an interesting headline to say the least but the article content clarifies it somewhat. With house prices the level they are and people unable (or unwilling) to work, is it fair that people have to move away from some areas because they can’t afford it…

I live in Poole and have my eyes on my next house in Sandbanks… only trouble is that it costs approx £2,000,000. Does this make me ‘poor’? I guess it depends on what you compare it to.  Do I have a ‘right’ to live in Sandbanks?

No is the answer, I don’t have any right to have anything in my life unless I work for it and make it happen myself. Sure it’s ‘not fair’ that some people have more money than me…but surely that would also mean it’s unfair that I have more money than other people.

If you want something in life the only way to get it is do something positive that EARNS you the ‘right’ to have it. Nothing should be handed to you. Yes a society should help its most vulnerable people and that is only right and proper. But it doesn’t mean everyone who is ‘poor’ can move in with the Queen (not debating whether she ‘earns’ her money at this point).

If you want something in life, then do what you have to do to make it happen. We can make excuses about our own special circumstances but there are many people in this world who were at rock bottom and they decided to do something about it and turn their life around and they earn the right through positive actions rather than moaning about life circumstances.

Before I start I totally recognise that there are some situations we face in life that take a long time to come to terms with and we may never see them as opportunities. Things like a relative passing away and having a serious accident etc. However in life pain is inevitable, suffering however is not.

Responsibility is a word that Dr Stephen Covey (Author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People) breaks into two parts. the Ability to Respond.

We are told over and over that we must take responsibility for our lives and situations we find ourself in. Often time we do one of two things. We moan about situations or try to apportion blame on others (it’s their fault I feel like this etc.)

If we do take responsibility we can still feel like victims of circumstances. e.g. I’m upset about what you have done. (You’re owning the feeling but still feeling rubbish about what has happened)

It’s great that in the second option we are taking responsibility but we aren’t necessarily taking ownership of what happens next.

Personal responsibility is all about owning your thoughts and feelings but also looking at how YOU can make the best out of any situation you are in. Whether it’s an argument with family or friends, whether you have just had the worst day ever or whether your business is not making enough money. All of these things are just information that you have become consciously aware of. What matters is what you do about it.

Often times we put a vast amount of energy into wishing that these things didn’t happen. But doing this never changes the fact it DID happen. So what matters is what you do next.

So it’s great if you have stopped blaming people, situations and circumstances for where you are in your life. the next step is to look at how you can turn wherever you are in your life or any situation you are in, into a positive outcome for you and those around you.

Life can be so enjoyable and yet we get wrapped up in little stories that can influence us to feel rubbish.

Keep making the right choices for you and those around you 🙂

This week in UK we have been lucky enough to witness the, now annual, spectacle that is, Britain’s Got Talent. Simon Cowell’s talent show that uncovers some incredible acts, all hoping to be win a place at The Royal Variety Show and a serious amount of cash.

I believe America’s Got Talent starts next week (here on ITV 2 anyway)

This week it has been semi final week, (how you can have 5 semi finals is beyond me but I digress) with 8 acts a night performing and then two acts going through the LIVE final on Saturday night.  We have a dancing dog (Go Chandi) which personally has my vote, singers, a fantastic dancing duo who you have to watch to believe (Twist & Pulse), Spellbound who do stuff that really shouldn’t be possible and a comedian / impressionist who is ACTUALLY very funny.

Alas though as well as 10 finalists we also have 36 acts that didn’t make it past the semi finals. As I was watching this week it was interesting to see the body language when the results were announced and they realised the dream was over. Tonight after the final we’ll have another 9 acts to add to those that are disappointed they didn’t win.

They’ll be tears for some and graceful acceptance from others. This is actually the first year where I haven’t got a clear view on who will win. I was wrong last year though as I thought SuBo AKA Susan Boyle would walk it. Of course though, she didn’t. She came second.

This is where hope plays its part for the future for the acts that didn’t win. Does NOT winning equal failure? NO. It means only what it means. That being, you came X place in a competition called Britain’s Got Talent. Anything more than that is just a thought.

Susan Boyle came 2nd last year but has gone from strength to strength with her own profile and career. Finishing further down the rankings are Stavros Flatley. An act that captured the nation and are still going strong.

So how can all this help you in your life? It is a great metaphor to remind us that whilst there are disappointing things that happen to us like:

  • not winning BGT
  • Not getting that promotion
  • Not getting the job offer
  • Not getting a pay-rise
  • Not getting enough sleep
  • and so many more

They are just what is happening at that moment. It doesn’t define the future it only defines right NOW. Sure it is OK to get disappointed but it’s how you respond to this news that matters.

Whatever happens tonight does not guarantee success [or failure] for any of the acts. It’s what they do next that matters.

Same for you, whatever has happened, has happened. You can’t change it and wishing it hadn’t happened is just a waste of time. Decide what you are going to do to take advantage of the situation you are in.

Keep making the right choices for yourself and those around you.

Regards

Darren

www.darrentoms.com

p.s. Vote Chandi the amazing dog (with Tina)