Why I don’t hope for a good 2011

Snow, Ice, Thaw, Hot, Too Hot, Rain, More Rain, Snow, Ice, Christmas

That was 2010 in nut shell for me…

So what does will 2011 hold? and will my goals be helped or hindered by events I have no control over?

What about YOU?

Some people will make their new year resolutions tonight, wake with a hangover tomorrow and with the best of intentions, try to live by these resolutions for as long as possible.

• Give up smoking
• Get fitter
• go to the gym more often (that wouldn’t be hard as I hardly went after March this year)
• Be happier
• stop moaning
• get perfect job
• get perfect partner
• etc etc etc

The challenge with this is that when LIFE takes over and we settle back to our routine, it is easy to continue the habits that we so want to break out of.

Life will throw things at us that we can’t control and then we revert back to OH WELL maybe next time (maybe NYE Dec 31 st 2011).

Do remember that your new years resolution should account for HOPES, DREAMS and WHAT YOU DO WANT but also a plan for what your response will be when things don’t plan out as hoped.

I don’t ‘wish’ you a great 2011 because things will happen you have NO CONTROL over. Whether it’s the weather (always good to moan about :)) your boss, your partner, the kids or even a traffic jam when you are in a rush.

2011 will hold challenges as well as great times and it’s up to YOU to choose the best way to respond.

I wish you the best mindset for 2011 and ensure you enjoy the journey all the way to Dec 31st 2011. That IS in your control.

Until next year 🙂

Darren

 

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Past doesn’t equal the future

I never really noticed how often I am leaving old skills behind and picking up new one.

Recently I have been offering free sessions on how to record, edit and host a podcast for networking mummies [http://www.networkingmummies.com/]. For business owners, being able to reach potential new clients with a voice rather than text, podcasting is a great way of doing this.

But how do you learn something you know nothing about? Research, google and ‘act as if’ you can learn it.

6 months ago I knew nothing about podcasting, now I am not only podcasting but have just released my first Audio Coaching programme using a digital download service. All of this started by me askng one question. “What do I need to know in order to podcast” and then taking action with the answers.

So what can you do with the [often free] services available on the web. We hear so much from iPod marketing about “there’s an App for that”, but there is also usually a free website to help you along the journey of finding new ways to get things done.

For podcasting I use Audacity and podbean (please google them).

Just because you haven’t done it yet, doen’t mean you can’t do it. All it takes is to ask the question HOW and then search for the answer.

http://www.darrentoms.com/products.html for my Audio workbook

Run Forest, Run!

My daughter is about to start her last year in primary school. As a confident 10 year old it is amazing to see how she has developed over the years.

From a baby who was totally dependant on parents for her survival to a young lady who is blossoming with a wonderful spirit and attitude to life. She attends a local private school which I scrimp and save for to give her the best start I could give her in her education. Soon she will be taking exams to see if she get’s into Grammar School or not.

She has just been made headgirl for her last year and this in itself makes me burst with pride over what my little girl has achieved.

As I have always said to her, it’s not about the winning, but it is about WANTING to win. “Go out and give it the best you can” I always say to her.

So last Friday, it was my turn to feel this approach. It was the School Sports day and that can only mean one thing… The PARENTS RACE.

I was sat down watching the kids go through their races, knowing all too soon I would have to make that choice, will I enter the race or sit quietly and watch others do it. I had entered the previous year and had suffered for days after as my legs wondered what the heck had hit them. It had been 24 years since I had sprinted 100 meters and my legs showed their disapproval by refusing to work properly for 4 days after.

Since leaving school (and my last sprint)  I have been a regular gym goer, done kickboxing, achieved blackbelt in Karate, but nothing could have prepared me for the pain of SPRINTING 100 metres.

SO here I am wondering, DO I ENTER this year.

The announcement comes over the tannoy, “WOULD ALL PARENTS WHO WISH TO RACE PLEASE MAKE THEIR WAY TO THE START LINE.” I glance up in the direction of my daughter who is shouting and waving frantically, “GO ON DAD, GO ON DAD” (repeat over and over).

Remembering what I said to her, (it’s not winning but it is WANTING to win) I make my way to the start line.

My pulse is beginning to quicken as I get nervous. The whistle goes, and we’re off. or should I say, all the other dad’s are off. I am running but with little speed from my youth remaining (and I’m sure all the other dad’s are at least 10 years younger than me :)).

I actually did better than I thought, and finished 5th after making up ground in the later stages. My daughter is happy I took part and did the best I could and I am happy as I realise that my legs still work.

Since the race (5 days ago) I spent 4 of those days in agony as my legs keep cramping up and wonder what the heck I am doing at my age.  But was it worth it? YES. Because I wanted to show my daughter how important it is to always do your best and have a go even if you know you can’t win.

Next year is my daughters last sports day in primary school. I have a choice now. Do I enter next years race and feel the pain after or feign injury and allow my legs to live in peace?  Actually I have chosen a 3rd option.

I am going to prepare next year by changing my gym workout and doing some short sharp sprint in advance to prepare my legs. That way I get to make my daughter proud of me whilst ensuring I don’t kick myself in the process (if my legs worked that is).

So keep making the right choices for yourself and those around you in your life and remember to prepare as best you can for whatever is coming your way.

Thanks for reading and please do visit my website www.darrentoms.com for more inspiring and thought provoking stuff

Published this earlier today and then saw this in the Daily Mail Website… http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1292609/Take-easy-sports-day-physiotherapists-warn-parents-half-reveal-theyve-treated-injured-mums-dads.html

In it to win it.

When I was 10 years old I recall listening the radio when Kenny Everitt was on. He was running a competition and I had to guess the name of the disguised voice. It was back in the days when you had to send in postcards. No phone in’s, no texting, no emails, this was good old fashioned postcards.

I recall I was convinced I was going to win because I knew who the voice was. As it happened I didn’t win and that was the start of something that I only recently realised would have such an impact on my life.

From that moment on I never bothered to enter any more competitions. Why? Because I felt that there was no way I could ever win. With so many people entering all these competitions, whether on cereal packets, to radio shows, to TV shows. I never bothered to enter them because I knew that I would never win.

The challenge with this kind of thinking is it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy and it can impact other areas of your life.

I would always drive to the car parks instead of looking for car parking spaces on the road, because I believed I would never find one on the road.

Of course I never found one on the road BECAUSE I never went looking for one.

With my coaching practice I often challenge the beliefs of my clients to see whether they are limiting beliefs.

I have done the same with myself over the last few years and have noticed some interesting things.

Actually it all started with my wife telling to go and look for car spaces rather than going and paying for parking. Suddenly I started finding spaces. Not all the time but on many occasions I would find the perfect spot.

My wife also started letting my stepson enter competitions. He actually won a big one recently and ended up in a national TV campaign for a range of children toys. He was flown to Manchester and stayed overnight and had a fantastic time.

My stepdaughter, who loves musical theatre, auditioned for shows and started getting the parts.

So would the same happen for me? I started believe that I could win. I put it to the test when recently entering a radio competition. It was a golden hour competition and I rang and rang and eventually got through to the DJ. I won the competition with a family day out at a local holiday park. Not the biggest prize but I have really started noticing that if you belief you can win then you stand a chance.

Entering a competition does not guarantee winning, but NOT entering guarantees NOT winning.

This can be applied to other areas of life as well. From getting that parking space to winning a promotion, or getting that perfect job. It can even apply to businesses looking to develop new products or services.

Anything is possible and it starts with what you believe in.

Is what you believe in helping you or hindering you. If it’s hindering you then start to change what you think you can achieve and reap the rewards for that subtle change in your thinking.

Come visit my website for more information on how you can change your life forever. www.darrentoms.com

Any excuse to exercise or not!

Earlier this year I decided enough was enough and I joined a gym again after a few years away.

After spending my 20’s and early 30’s being incredibly fit through gym workouts, kickboxing and karate it all went wrong shortly after my divorce. It was an easy excuse to stop working out and I did.

As time went by and my waist size increased slowly but surely I finally decided it was time to get back into the buzz of working out.

I joined a gym in February and went 4 time a week and it was becoming a habit. I enjoyed the workout and as well as getting fit I had time to subconsciously work through life’s challenges without actually focusing on them. The DISASTER struck.

I had to have my wisdom tooth out in late March. Anyone who has had a wisdom tooth removed will know it is a ridiculous amount of time before you are able to do anything, including eating.

So after getting back into the habit of going to gym, I was out of it again. During the few weeks where I was unable to go I recall saying to myself, “as soon as I’m better I’m going straight back.”

So here we are in June, my tooth pain a log distant memory and my gym membership still waiting for some action. After playing tennis for the first time in 24 years last weekend (and aching for the next two days) I have decided TOMORROW is THE DAY.

I have packed my gym bag up, put time in my diary and I will be hitting the treadmill and cross trainer.

It can be so easy to THINK about doing something, but actually it’s doing it that counts.

So what have you been putting off that you know deep down you want to do.

Take action today and keep making the choices that help you and those around you.